Dear Future Employee,

Hey! Xavier here. I know why you're here. Your life is a shitshow. Us both! This job pays worse than McDonald's. But one thing: No. It isn't supposedly spooky. The only reason they don't want you to look to the sides is so you don't fall over the railing, Mr. Smarty-pants.  Anywho, I don't want to just make fun of you throughout this entire letter, so good luck! I think you've been equipped with that lantern thingie? Right? If not, then how the hell're you supposed to do your damn job! Ha. Why am I laughing in a letter? Eh, who gives a fuck about these things. I just have to conceive one so if I get fired you are prepared. Anyway, just remember, check out tech, make sure the factory isn't broken, and... that's it!